Embracing your Golden Shadow

It has been over a month since I got back from Tucson. Much has happened since I returned from my adventure. Now I am dealing with another kind of adventure . . . healing from eyelid surgery. I have to admit, it's not nearly as fun as Tucson! I knew when I got back from my trip, I would have to have this skin cancer taken off from my lower right eyelid. I just didn't know that they would end up taking 75% of my lower lid. I had been dealing with irritation in that eye for the last two years and I could see a white area inside of my lid. The eye doctor thought it was a clogged pore. I kept putting warm compresses on it and using eye bright. However, it kept bothering me. Finally, the eye doctor recommended I see an eyelid specialist. I ended up finding out that it was basal cell carcinoma two days before I left for Tucson.

After having 75% of my eyelid removed, I went to the eyelid specialist the next day for a repair. He took skin from behind my ear and did a skin graft on my lower eyelid. In order for the skin graft to take hold and live, it needs a blood supply. So, they take a flap of skin from the inside of my upper eyelid and pull it down to the skin graft. (I know, I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of this either) Then they sew the upper flap to the skin graft. This means that they have to sew your eye shut so that it can heal fully. I have had my eye sewn shut now since March 17th. I will get it re-opened on the 19th of April! I can't wait. I only have over a week now.

I have been exploring this whole theme of having my eye closed. I found out that in Greek mythology, the right eye represents the sun. The left eye, which I can only use now, represents the moon. This makes a lot of sense to me, as I have been going within a lot more since I had the surgery. Only having the ability to see out of one eye, makes you rely more on your other senses and your intuition to do things. I have been a lot slower at doing things. It is even difficult for me to do my art, as it tires the one working eye and my depth of perception is way off. The moon also represents the hidden side of yourself that you don't always acknowledge. Some people call this your shadow side.

I had to ask myself, "What am I not seeing in my life?" I was asking myself this question when I was in Tucson, as I knew I had skin cancer at that time. I kept thinking that it must be something bad that I wasn't seeing about myself. (We all assume the worst about ourselves.) Little did I realize, until some time passed, that I wasn't seeing the good in myself. Having my show on display at the DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun, helped me to see how gifted I was. People kept telling me how creative and talented I was. I was getting positive feedback about my art, which helped me to really see myself in a different light. I was touching people's lives in positive ways. I knew then that I needed to embrace my gifts and my golden aspects. This made me realize that we do have "golden shadows" as well. Our shadow side isn't always dark, more often than not, it is your beauty and light that you are holding back.

So, I have been able to complete two shadow boxes since I have had my surgery. Both of them deal with this new way of seeing myself. They also deal with listening to my own intuition and trusting my inner knowledge. It has been very healing for me to create these pieces while I am patiently waiting for the opening of my eye!

A much bettter day!

Today was a nice leisurley day. I decided to take my time and to stop at as many rest areas and tourist info centers as we wanted. This really broke up the day. I still made it to Lincoln, IL tonight, so now I only have 300 miles to go tomorrow. Then I will be home! Also, tonight we found Kickapoo Creek Park. It had a lot of land with many many trails. We went on a couple of longer trails and Moon Shadow loved it. She ran a lot and seemed thrilled with the leaves and grass.

A Tiring Day

I started early this morning in the dark, hoping to make as many miles as possible. I wanted to make it at least to Joplin and maybe even farther. It ended up being a very long and tiring drive. There was construction going through Tulsa and the toll roads took up time as well. Oklahoma does not have any rest areas. They only have "picnic areas" that do not have bathrooms. This means that I stopped at McDonalds along the way. Each time you got off the toll road, you had to show them your receipt and get a refund at the exit and then pay as you got back on the turnpike. Talk about a pain! Then I had to make stops for Moon Shadow that were separate from my stops. Overall, I ended up making 530 miles. I was pretty much ready to stop driving an hour before Joplin, but the area that the hotels were located at were not very good. They were basically a gas station and a hotel next to a field and dirt roads. So, I pushed on and made it to Carthage, MO. I still have about 700 miles to go. At least Missouri and Illinois have rest areas!

Las Cruces to Vega, Texas

I made it to Vega, Texas today. It was about a 400 mile drive. I drove on US 54, which goes through the valley of many different mountains. It was very scenic. I had a hard time finding places to stop, as the towns were very small and far between. They didn't have much in the way of parks, etc. I think Moon Shadow is feeling confined in the car, as she sits up and looks at me like "when are we going to stop?" She doesn't sleep at all when we are driving. I know she will be happy when we finally get back to our home where things are familar and where she can go to all of the parks she ever wanted to.

Also, today I had to go through another border patrol inspection. Brent and I went through one coming from Tubac, AZ. Some times they just set them up on the highway. The one I went through today was a permanent one. Yesterday I saw 4 border patrol trucks that pulled over a car on the side of the highway.

I am posting some of the images from yesterday's blog of the crows flying into the wind. I heard this morning on local news that there were actually gusts of 50 mph yesterday. It definately felt that way!

A Blustery Goodbye

I headed for home today after dropping Brent off at the airport. I left in the pouring rain. Little did I know I was going to be in for sleet, snow, then rain, then 40 mph winds! As I drove through Texas Canyon (in Arizona), the elevation increased and the temperature dropped from 48 degrees to 32 degrees. Then came the sleet and snow. It also was real foggy and mysterious driving past these huge boulders covered in snow. As I drove out of the snow, I stopped at a rest area. When I got out of the car, I couldn't believe the wind. I didn't feel it in the car, as it was blowing directly behind me. I found out later on there were gusts of 40 mph. With the wind, came the dark dramatic skies and the tumble weeds blowing across the highway. I never had such an entertaining drive! I decided to stop in Las Cruces, NM. When I took Moon Shadow for a walk at their State Park, there were crows flying everywhere. They would perch on the side of this dirt mound that ran along the road and then almost jump into the air to glide in the wind. After a while they would come back down to rest and then do it all over again. They looked like they were having such a good time.

Sabino Canyon

Yesterday, Brent and I went for a 4 mile hike at Sabino Canyon. It was a beautiful warm day. The water was high from all of the rain. The most exciting part was at the end of the hike. We had to cross a river that was up to our knees in some parts. I had to roll up my pants and of course our hiking boots got soaked! The water was very cold!

Today we are packing things up, cleaning our little rental house, and doing laundry. Brent flies home tomorrow and I start for home. We had a great time on this journey.

The Desert Museum and the Historic Downtown Walk

We had a very full day today. We went to the Desert Museum near the Saguaro National Park. It was a beautiful sunny day. They have live Predator Bird Demonstrations every day. We were able to see a raven, hawks, and a road runner fly above us and perched on trees. They fly back and forth to their keepers because of the easy food. They truly are amazing creatures.

Then I had an appointment at the Old Pueblo Frameworks and Gallery in Tucson. I met with the owner, Kathi. She ended up taking 6 of my shadow boxes. It felt so good being the artist having a gallery owner take my artwork, instead of the other way around, which I was very familiar with when I had my gallery. I really felt good about having my artwork in her beautiful gallery. Her website can be viewed at http://www.oldpueblogallery.com/

Then after this, Brent and I went for a walk with Moon Shadow along the old historic route in downtown Tucson. We saw some really amazing adobe buildings, St. Augustine Cathedral, old courthouses, etc. One really beautiful place was The Wishing Shrine. Many people come to burn candles and pray, asking for help with their problems. They say if you light a candle and it doesn't burn out over night, your wish will come true. Of course Brent and I each made a wish!