Embracing your Golden Shadow

It has been over a month since I got back from Tucson. Much has happened since I returned from my adventure. Now I am dealing with another kind of adventure . . . healing from eyelid surgery. I have to admit, it's not nearly as fun as Tucson! I knew when I got back from my trip, I would have to have this skin cancer taken off from my lower right eyelid. I just didn't know that they would end up taking 75% of my lower lid. I had been dealing with irritation in that eye for the last two years and I could see a white area inside of my lid. The eye doctor thought it was a clogged pore. I kept putting warm compresses on it and using eye bright. However, it kept bothering me. Finally, the eye doctor recommended I see an eyelid specialist. I ended up finding out that it was basal cell carcinoma two days before I left for Tucson.

After having 75% of my eyelid removed, I went to the eyelid specialist the next day for a repair. He took skin from behind my ear and did a skin graft on my lower eyelid. In order for the skin graft to take hold and live, it needs a blood supply. So, they take a flap of skin from the inside of my upper eyelid and pull it down to the skin graft. (I know, I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of this either) Then they sew the upper flap to the skin graft. This means that they have to sew your eye shut so that it can heal fully. I have had my eye sewn shut now since March 17th. I will get it re-opened on the 19th of April! I can't wait. I only have over a week now.

I have been exploring this whole theme of having my eye closed. I found out that in Greek mythology, the right eye represents the sun. The left eye, which I can only use now, represents the moon. This makes a lot of sense to me, as I have been going within a lot more since I had the surgery. Only having the ability to see out of one eye, makes you rely more on your other senses and your intuition to do things. I have been a lot slower at doing things. It is even difficult for me to do my art, as it tires the one working eye and my depth of perception is way off. The moon also represents the hidden side of yourself that you don't always acknowledge. Some people call this your shadow side.

I had to ask myself, "What am I not seeing in my life?" I was asking myself this question when I was in Tucson, as I knew I had skin cancer at that time. I kept thinking that it must be something bad that I wasn't seeing about myself. (We all assume the worst about ourselves.) Little did I realize, until some time passed, that I wasn't seeing the good in myself. Having my show on display at the DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun, helped me to see how gifted I was. People kept telling me how creative and talented I was. I was getting positive feedback about my art, which helped me to really see myself in a different light. I was touching people's lives in positive ways. I knew then that I needed to embrace my gifts and my golden aspects. This made me realize that we do have "golden shadows" as well. Our shadow side isn't always dark, more often than not, it is your beauty and light that you are holding back.

So, I have been able to complete two shadow boxes since I have had my surgery. Both of them deal with this new way of seeing myself. They also deal with listening to my own intuition and trusting my inner knowledge. It has been very healing for me to create these pieces while I am patiently waiting for the opening of my eye!

Reflecting on the last two weeks

Well, tomorrow is my last full day at the Little Gallery. I feel so grateful for all of my experiences and all of the people I met. I sold three of my Shadow Boxes and they all seemed to go to just the right owner. One couple who bought one of my Dia de los Muertos boxes, were living in their camper trailer. They were in the process of selling their home so they could travel around the United States. They were very fun and lively. You could tell they were on an adventure. Come to find out, they would be traveling to Michigan in the summer to work on Mackinac Island. They wanted a smaller piece that would add a nice touch to their new traveling home. I gave them a little extra putty so that it wouldn't fall off the wall when they went over bumps!

Brent also arrived today. I think he was very impressed with DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun, even though he had seen my pictures. Moon Shadow and I had fun showing him around and taking him to Moon Shadow's favorite parks. It is nice having someone to share my adventures with.

I am posting some images from DeGrazia's front altar in their little church. This is my way of showing gratitude for everything. Also, the photo of the couple is Paul and Candy who are traveling around the U.S.

Homeopathy

I first was introduced to homeopathy 4 years ago. I learned about it through an unfortunate accident that happened to my dog, Moon Shadow. Moon Shadow jumped out of our car, (while we were still driving), which caused her to paralyze her front leg. We took her to an alternative vet, which is how we eventually started using homeopathy. You can read more about Moon Shadow by looking at the June 2008 blog.

Homeopathy is a way of treating symptoms in an ill person with a homeopathic medicine that causes similar symptoms in a healthy person. This is based on what the homeopaths call "The Law of Similars" where like cures like. This is very similar to the way that a vaccination works. With the vaccine, the goal is to aid and stimulate the body's own defense and immune system. With homeopathic medicines, the goal is to stimulate the body's own healing life force by clearing away the poison / pathology with the "like" substance. Homeopathic substances come from a variety of plants, animal materials and minerals. These medicines are prescribed to fit each individual's needs, given in much smaller and less toxic doses than traditional medications, and are used for both prevention and treatment.

I used homeopathy on and off for the last four years for colds, pains, and injuries. I was surprised at how well it actually worked and relieved my symptoms. Then at the Great Lakes Retreat of 2008, I learned about a homeopath named Moshe Daniel. He talked about using homeopathy for emotional and spiritual imbalances, as well. I was very excited about this new information. I decided to make an appointment and give it a try! I wasn't exactly sure what my issue was or what I wanted treated. However, after our first appt. it became clear. I was struggling with my own individuation and breaking free from all the rules "society" placed on me. I was being ruled by all of the expectations that society has. I longed to be my own person and to make my own decisions that were not based on guilt or shame. Moshe saw a very similar problem that Scarlet Macaws face. Scarlet Macaws are group oriented and yet they have a need for self expression. They long to be free and wild, yet they face being entraped by group "rules" and are also entraped physically by people who capture them in the wild to be sold as "pets." They have a need to express themselves, while still being an integral part of their group or society. This description fit me to a tee as well. It was set, we had my remedy!

After taking my remedy on and off for the next several months, I have noticed a big change. I know more of who I am and what I want. I feel free to move towards my goals with no guilt. At first it caused me to question all of my motives. Why was I doing this? Is it because my heart is telling me to or is it because I feel obligated and guilty? Now with everything I do, it is because it is my true calling. My heart is telling me to go for it, not because I was told that this is what I "should be" doing. What a huge break through! I feel like I am moving towards more freedom in my life.

If you would like to research more about homeopathy or make an appointment with Moshe Daniel, his website is http://www.david-house-productions.com Go to the "Alternative Medicine" section on his website.

The photograph is of my most recent painting depicting my experiences with the Scarlet Macaw remedy.

I had my dear friend, Marca, (pronounced Marsa), visit me a couple of weeks ago. She and I met when we were in kindergarten. Marca tells me that I used to tie her shoes for her. Even though I don't remember that, it is nice someone else does. We have been friends all of our lives. It is wonderful having a friend that has known you through all of the ups and downs in your lifetime. She plays a major role in my life of being able to ground myself again, when I am feeling off balance. She now lives in Colorado, but we manage to keep in touch and to see each other every year.

I took Marca to all of the fun places where I love to find interesting artifacts and found objects. My most favorite place is called Sunset Junque, located in Fennville, Mi. It is a place like no other. They have the most interesting pieces of sculpture, old buggies, beautiful old doors, mannequins from nativity scenes, confessional booths, etc, etc. We had so much fun photographing that we were there for 2 hours! I am including some of the photos from our excursion.

Moon Shadow, the art muse

Moon Shadow, a 6 year old schipperke, is my art muse and friend. She has taught me many things since we got her as a puppy. I believe she was brought into my life to teach me about health and healing. When she was 3 years old, she paralyzed her front left leg. She did this as we were taking her to the park in our little convertible. She got so excited that she jumped out of the car. Sadly, she did not regain feeling in that leg. This began our journey to natural health and homeopathy. I started to take her to a homeopathic vet and learned a great deal about how the body can heal itself in time, if given the proper food and nutrition. I started to make her own food, stopped giving her vaccinations, and instead took other precautions such as, a rabies tither which can check the level of protection she has in her body. This caused me to start seeing a naturopath to start my own healing. I learned through many different tests and iridology what was going on inside my body. This helped explain my exhaustion and fatigue. Now after 2 years, I have much more energy and eat a lot more healthier. Moon Shadow has been inspiration to both me and my husband. She acts as if there is nothing wrong, and she still can tear around the house.

In the next few months, this blog will highlight the different walks and excursions I go on with Moon Shadow. Sometimes we even go dumpster diving for scrap metal and found objects. Now you can see where my creativity comes from.